Schedule of Events, 2008 Democratic Convention

[Dave328]

Not mine. Copied from a post on another forum I hang out on. Pretty funny, nonetheless.

Schedule of Events, 2008 Democratic Convention

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning

7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N.

7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm ~ How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning - Barney Frank presiding

8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm ~ Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9..00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ~ "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand

11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay -* Sean Penn

11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm ~ How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean

12:15 am ~ "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am ~ Ted Kenned y proposes a toast

1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

 

[dantheman]

UH OH . I know what's coming ....

 

[tgrshooter]

Whats that? An eloquent response from a certain Liberal on this board??

 

[penguin]

Pfft..just like a conservative to not have updated and correct information. Everyone knows Obama will be the nominee. I bet Ted will drink to that!

 

[Dave328]

Pfft..just like a conservative to not have updated and correct information. Everyone knows Obama will be the nominee. I bet Ted will drink to that!

Never underestimate the Klintons!
Osama hasn't been nominated yet!

 

[SimonJester308]

2008 Republican National Convention Schedule

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new
cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself

12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

 

[dantheman]

Oh GOD ! There's two of them .

 

[SimonJester308]

Just trying to be "Fair and Balanced"

 

[CEHollier]

Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home. That is hilarious

 

[penguin]

Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home. That is hilarious

Hell, wouldn't you! I know I'd be handing him a shot of jager for the road..lol