Well I've been a photographer/video director my entire adult life so I'm pretty good at manipulating the camera.
Actually, that's a really simple setup and works great for photographing firearms. The white background is just my kitchen counter top. The light is natural light coming in through the kitchen window. Camera is my personal Pentax D-SLR (a low end digital camera).
Proper exposure and framing is key.
*edit* I just realized your joke. LOL Sorry, the stolen camera is last thing on my mind since insurance is handling it 100%.