Spanky's Famous "You'll hate me tomorrow" Cheese Dip

[spanky]

There are a few variations but this is the best (read: hottest).

No pics of the finished thing since I haven't made it in over a year. Damn diet.

2 Cans Rotel Extra Hot

2 16oz Packages Velveeta Mexican Mild Cheese

A few jalapeno peppers

Put the rotel into a small pot, turn on fire, let it warm up then dice up the cheese and throw it in. Also, you can either put in slices of the jalapeno or dice it. Totally up to you.

Cook until cheese is melted through.

Serve with your favorite chips or as a great cheesy topping to burgers.

Also, you can probably throw in some cooked ground beef or turkey. I've never tried that but it should be good.

Also, if you REALLY hate your rectum, dice up a habanero and throw in there.

 

[Request Dust Off]

No way dude!
I have too much respect for the "Brown-Eyed Cyclops" to eat that.
One of my goals is to make it through life never having to explain anything to a "Goula Doctor".

I'm going buy some Preparation H just from reading the recipe.

My eyes are starting to burn.

 

[Speedlace]

That can look HELLA intimidating.

 

[alex]

pffft...please.

reminds me of the joke:

Q: How does a Mexican know when it's time to eat?
A: His ******* stops burning.

 

[spanky]

pffft...please.

reminds me of the joke:

Q: How does a Mexican know when it's time to eat?
A: His ******* stops burning.

Pipe down beaner.

 

[Papercut]

thats my salsa minus the cheese, plus a Videlia Onion

 

[LouisianaCarry]

I think I may have posted mine before, but, since we are on the topic...

Ok, this stuff looks like cat puke, but it is easy to make, and everyone who tries it when I make it makes noises like they are making love. It's good stuff, IF you like spicy dip. I humbly submit it here for your edification and consideration. No, I am probably not the only person to think of this, but I made it with no outside help, and that makes it my own.

Ingredients:
(You may substitute brand names, if these are not available in your area, but do not use Pace salsa in this, even though it is ok salsa, it is too... I dunno... commercial tasting)

1) 15 oz (can be larger, but not too much larger) can Hormel Chili (no beans) (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT PUT CHILI WITH BEANS IN MY ÜBER DIP OR YOU WILL GO TO HELL)

1) 16 oz jar Mission Sliced Jalapeño Peppers

1) 8 oz container Philadelphia Cream Cheese

1) 16 oz jar Superior Grill Classic Fire Salsa

1) 8 oz package Kraft Mexican Style Shredded Cheese [Cheddar, Monterey Jack & Jalapeño Peppers)

That's it. Naturally, you can be more hands on if you want to save money and aren't as concerned about it being a 8 minute recipe (shredding the cheese yourself, for example). I would recommend against cutting the peppers fresh, though, since this is not going to actually be cooked and they would change the texture.

Put everything in the pot except for 1/3 of the bag of shredded cheese (drain the peppers, of course), mix as best as possible (the cream cheese will not want to mix well until it is warmer), and nuke it for 3:30. Take it out, stir it well this time, and nuke it for another 2:30. Take it out, stir one last time and spread the rest of the shredded cheese on top and nuke it again for 2:00. (Nuke time may vary with oven wattage, of course).

You may use a few less jalapeños, of course, if you don't want one on every chip. You may use medium salsa if you prefer, but don't call it Über-dip if you use mild salsa (super-dip, maybe).

Set that out with some Tostitos Scoops Tortilla Chips, and grab a carbonated drink, and you have got some good stuff right there, I don't care who you are. Every part of this makes it what it is. Some might think the cream cheese is weird until they try it, but it really does find a home in this mix. If you are a bachelor(ette), you can just go hog wild on this (probably in two sittings, unless you are a big ole boy/gal) by itself, or it is an excellent throw together for gatherings. It will probably go fast if you have a bunch of people around, so buy lots of chips, and make double!

I know this recipe is not rocket surgery, but it's beauty lies in it's simplicity.

 

[spanky]

Get your own thread hippie.

 

[LouisianaCarry]

Now that I think of it, what I was remembering was you posting in my uber-dip thread on arfcom.

Anyway, what, are you scared my dip is better?

 

[spanky]

Yes.

Actually I just hate the fact that I can't have any of either.

 

[LouisianaCarry]

How come?

 

[CajunTim]

Self control.

 

[spanky]

How come?

You don't get from 340 to 220 in a year eating that ****.

 

[LouisianaCarry]

Shoot, I would opt for the dip, personally.

 

[spanky]

That's how I got there.

 

[LouisianaCarry]

I'm thankful for my metabolism, I guess, because I sure as heck ain't fixin' to quit eating dip and Haagen-Dazs. I would just blow up and deal.

 

[LouisianaCarry]

I didn't even notice the new forum or I would have gotten my own thread. Maybe I will repost it.

Anyway, I came in to say that this thread made me go to Walmart to pick up more HaagenDazs and UberDip fixins.

I'm GTG now.