I think my wife has depression

[IfItFliesItDies]

She has 6 of the DSM IV criteria and 5 are need for diagnosis.

All of her friends that were here have recently moved away and she just started a new job.

I wonder what I should do.

 

[gocoastal]

She has 6 of the DSM IV criteria and 5 are need for diagnosis.

All of her friends that were here have recently moved away and she just started a new job.

I wonder what I should do.

Talk to her. And/or someone close to her like her mother or a sister.
If that doesn't help, talk to her doctor.
There is no shame in trying medication for awhile. Most people don't stay on medication forever and there's no reason to be so unhappy for months at a time just because your brain chemistry is a little off.

Edit to add: For medical professionals, the first step is always to find out of a patient is 1) thinking of suicide, and 2) if so, if he/she has a plan to do so. We ALWAYS ALWAYS hospitalize those people, for their own safety.

 

[Russo]

any doctor will tell you, not one case of depression was corrected with medication... and yes, i have been on anti-depressents..

 

[deafdave3]

She has 6 of the DSM IV criteria and 5 are need for diagnosis.

All of her friends that were here have recently moved away and she just started a new job.

I wonder what I should do.

For starters, you shouldn't be on the computer.

 

[TomTerrific]

Clinical depression can kill. My wife is a depressive and has been for decades, but it is controlled by medication. She is a fortunate one.
If she is indeed depressive, she needs professional help.
We who don't have the illness have a hard time understanding it.
Get help.

 

[LA_Huntsman]

For starters, you shouldn't be on the computer.

why not? he's looking for answers to the questions he has...

 

[gocoastal]

Anti-depressants help depressed people every day.

They don't "correct" depression the same way, say, antibiotics kill of the bacteria in an infection. Stopping medication when a person is not over their depressive episode will result in continued depression until the episode is over, and you can't know how many weeks or months an episode could last. Anti-depressants also have to be taken for up to several weeks before a person will feel better.

I still think medication is a good strategy if you find that your wife's issues cannot be resolved by talking or changing behavior.

 

[brfd557]

Clinical depression can kill. My wife is a depressive and has been for decades, but it is controlled by medication. She is a fortunate one.
If she is indeed depressive, she needs professional help.
We who don't have the illness have a hard time understanding it.
Get help.

Good advise, just don't wait, seek professional help ASAP!

 

[charlie12]

I don't know the answer but get her some help fast. I know of two women in my area that have killed themselves in the last couple weeks.
You and your wife are in my prayers.

 

[Guate_shooter]

Take her on a cruise, spend more time involving her into your daily routine, pick up a new joint hobby, buy a motorcycle and travel, buy a motorhome and travel, etc etc etc

Seeking professional help is also recommended but even with pills sge requires for you to be her rock and she needs to be ur center of attention

best of luck and remember you have the power to help her overcome

 

[IfItFliesItDies]

We're both in the medical field so we know what to look for. The thought of this never occurred to me until today. She didn't have to work, she didn't go anywhere or do anything but she was falling asleep the entire day. Sheskipped out on our run and workout that we usually do together, didn't want to go out to dinner for her birthday that was this week, and decided she didn't want to go to any parades this year.
It was the sleeping all day that through the red flag for me. I'm not in psych but I know what to look for. I think she might have an idea too.

Problem is I don't know a single psychiatrist and I can't diagnose her.

I'm going to try to get her to spend time with friends this weekend and see if that helps at all.

 

[some_goat]

If your wife goes on medication be very careful with it . My best friends father was suffering from depression for years . One day the doc switched meds on him and it appeared that it worked out very well for the first week . Then one day when everything thing seemed fine and he was at peace . He got time to himself , went to a park and took his life .
I knew this dude since i was 13 . He was a good man , but he had to much time on his hands .The Greeks beleived that is was a bad thing for one to have to much time to himself . The best I can figure is to keep ones self busy . Keep close family ties . Like the man said , be her rock . Ive been diagnost with depression by the VA but i have choosen not to take the medication . The main thing i do stay close to the wife . Only problem is when im by myself with no one around and nothing to do , it feels like an eternity . That and for some odd reason movies make me more emotional now .

 

[IfItFliesItDies]

Take her on a cruise, spend more time involving her into your daily routine, pick up a new joint hobby, buy a motorcycle and travel, buy a motorhome and travel, etc etc etc

Those aren't really a viable option right now, and I don't know how more involved she could be in my daily routine. We already do practically everything together.

 

[stormrider54]

After my diagnosis I had to quit work and wait for the eneviable. Well I went through a period where I couldn't talk to ANYONE without bursting into tears. Doctor pescribed a mild anti depressant. Problem SOLVED! It is amazing. It is now two-three years down the road and I do get "bummed out" from time to time but nothing near what was happening before. I would say that I am like everyone else, I feel down every now and then but not to often.

I am still waiting for the time when I'll get that transplant but I just "go with the flow" now.

My suggestion is that you take her to the doctor and show her it is out of love and concern, not because you think she is freaking nuts.(that is probably one of the first things she'll think)

These things work, take my word for it.

Do not forget she is probbably approaching middle age(I guess), has lost her friends and her new job might really suck. It all adds up. And realize she may be at the point where she is asking "Is that all there is to life?" In which case change your habits, buy a travel trailer, go camping, do reenactments, travel, join a yoga class together, START ENJOYING LIFE AGAIN!

Hope this helps, but the first step is to get her to a doctor.

 

[IfItFliesItDies]

Do not forget she is probbably approaching middle age(I guess),

Not even close.

 

[stormrider54]

Not even close.

I am not well known for having ESP, now you know why!

 

[dtd80]

Great advice on here. Having that many things not in your life anymore can put a person in idle. My best suggestion after the doctors and getting her to get "out" of her slump would be to pick at her brain to find out what she can be passionate about. A hobby that can motivate her.

I'm sure everyone has gone through this (while some not as bad). I always found something that got my attention that got my arse back on track.

When I was a kid => video games/riding my bike
When I was a teen => working on cars/driving
When I was a young adult => working on more cars/education

In between those transitions, I've always had spells of somewhat "depression" but something always caught my attention and it got me going again. Lately, it's shooting. But i'm sure everyone on BS has that hobby to the nth degree.... Good luck.

 

[BigNick73]

When you go to the Dr. to check on meds be sure and have a hormone panel ran. Some time back I was about ready to commit myself, went to the Dr. turned out a physical injury had caused a hormone imbalance, I have weekly injections now, but was back to normal in about 4 days.

Dr. said she's had several cases where people were on anti-depressants for years when there was an actual physical problem, and that something as simple as developing hyper/hypo thyroidism, testosterone/estrogen deficiencies etc.. can set it all out of whack and do some strange stuff.

 

[dwsonar]

For a quick fix, how about a puppy?

 

[CEHollier]

The first place to start is your family practitioner. Meds are a good option. If she has an imbalance in her chemistry medication can up/down regulate this. There are certain drugs that will not affect her mentation. Buspar comes to mind. Most of the time the meds are a short term cycle until she gets back to being herself. Also, as we travel the path of life our hormones change and levels fluctuate. There is no shame in seeking help. I hope things work out for her.