Ok, I'll play along.
Say you and your 43 year old aunt are water skiing in the Dead Sea, and a Martian saucer hovers over and abducts both of you. As soon as you are in the ship, they strap you down and things start getting all anal proby mighty quick. Your only weapon is a plastic spoon you had for some pudding after your ski session.
WHAT DO YOU DO
WHAT DO YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LGD you're killin' me.