The way things are today
- Thread starter Scott.Thornton
- Start date
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SpeedRacer
Well-Known Member
I agree.
It was until a few years ago when I was bitching about the economy that my dad told about the recession we were in when I was born. Our first house was bought at 19% interest, etc. I never knew because I never needed to know.
Kids don't know better. The world just is what it is to them. Kids that live in huts in Africa are just as happy as my kid who has TV, air conditioning and 5.6 million toys.
Sin-ster
GM of 4 Letter Outbursts
From the other side of the fence...
I envy those of you with families in many ways. It's wonderful to have people you love to share your life with, and I can't even imagine the feeling of being a proud parent.
But I am at the same time thankful for my sheer lack of the associated responsibilities-- especially when I read through a thread like this one. The very thought of starting a family under the current conditions of our country is staggering, and at 29 years of age (in October), I feel woefully ill prepared for such an undertaking. Financially and in terms of stability, for sure-- but just down right emotionally as well. The VAST majority of my friends (ages 24-35) all seem to be in the same boat; many are just considering marriage at 30, and others having their first child at the same age. I've read some compelling arguments as to why this is the common trend, but on a personal level... Hell, it's just not something I'm willing to do right now, and I know for certain that I'm not the only one.
Kudos and good luck to those of you who have taken the opposite fork in the road, and though I don't fully share in your apprehension, I definitely understand and ponder your concerns. IOW-- threads like this scare the living crap out of me...
I envy those of you with families in many ways. It's wonderful to have people you love to share your life with, and I can't even imagine the feeling of being a proud parent.
But I am at the same time thankful for my sheer lack of the associated responsibilities-- especially when I read through a thread like this one. The very thought of starting a family under the current conditions of our country is staggering, and at 29 years of age (in October), I feel woefully ill prepared for such an undertaking. Financially and in terms of stability, for sure-- but just down right emotionally as well. The VAST majority of my friends (ages 24-35) all seem to be in the same boat; many are just considering marriage at 30, and others having their first child at the same age. I've read some compelling arguments as to why this is the common trend, but on a personal level... Hell, it's just not something I'm willing to do right now, and I know for certain that I'm not the only one.
Kudos and good luck to those of you who have taken the opposite fork in the road, and though I don't fully share in your apprehension, I definitely understand and ponder your concerns. IOW-- threads like this scare the living crap out of me...
I see this trend too and I usually blow people’s minds when I say, you do realize that if you have a kid at 35, that booger could still be in your house when you're almost turning 60 years old!?!?
By 60 yrs old, I want the nest empty and have the house back to just me and momma.
...or maybe a grandkid occasionally
My wife and I had the same mindset. Let's have kids ASAP while were young. B/c buddy I tell you what. Having kids is a young man's game. It don't get any easier, the older you get. Have'em while you’re young and can handle the stress of life at the same time, then you can empty your nest earlier in the latter stages of life.
I had my first at 45, and at 48, I have another on the way. I want to be surrounded by children until I die. They're more fun than a barrel of monkeys. To those who do not have children, I'll say this: They do not have to be the albatrosses some make them out to be. Yes you have to change your lifestyle, and yes your life stops being "about you", but it isn't something you begrudge. You change your life, because you want to do so, not because you have to. Life as a parent is so much more rewarding than life without children, that it is almost incomparable. It's almost like the difference between your life before you grew up and your life after you grew up.
I find this to be extremely hard to understand. I have family members who at the drop of a hat will dump their kids on the Grand-parents every single weekend or are always looking for a baby sitter during the week. If they do stay home with their kids, they do nothing but let them watch movies all day and night. I think to myself that sounds like a miserable life.
My kids and wife are my entire life. Not a single day goes by that the kids don't rush to greet me when I get home, most times before I get out the vehicle. They count down the days to the weekend and we have special weekend morning routines. Now that my son is 6 he's getting to the age where I can take him hunting and fishing. Since I was a teen I dreamed of creating those same memories I have with my dad, but now with my own son. My daughters are hard to even look at without thinking too far in the future.
Of course at times I'm ready to put them in bird cages and hang them from the ceiling or indeed let one of the grandparents take over for a night but I cannot simply get enough of them. We gave up on paying for Cable Tv b/c we just never watched it. Now we are pretty much outside until dark.
So like I was saying, seeing these parents today who barely even know their own kids b/c they let the XBOX baby sit them, I just don't get it. I feel like I'm on a whole different planet than those folks.
I see your point on wanting to have them around you until you die, but I guess I'd rather be with them early on in life and then be spoiling grandkids during those latter years buying them as Speedrace said, 5.6 million toys that will never be put up
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I see this trend too and I usually blow people’s minds when I say, you do realize that if you have a kid at 35, that booger could still be in your house when you're almost turning 60 years old!?!?
By 60 yrs old, I want the nest empty and have the house back to just me and momma.
...or maybe a grandkid occasionally
My wife and I had the same mindset. Let's have kids ASAP while were young. B/c buddy I tell you what. Having kids is a young man's game. It don't get any easier, the older you get. Have'em while you’re young and can handle the stress of life at the same time, then you can empty your nest earlier in the latter stages of life.
31 is young?
I was married at 21 and the wife was pregnant about a month later. It was a little sooner than we expected, but I've got no complaints. Our goal was to have 2 before we were 30. That's getting closer every year but... well...
ETA:
I'm with you 100%, buddy. I wouldn't pay for satellite if it wasn't for football season and the wife's shows that she just has to watch live so she can talk about them the next day at lunch. We live outside or inside playing games. I was upset when my mother-in-law got our daughter a little video game for her last birthday. I spent far too much time in front of glowing boxes as a kid. That's the last thing I want for my own!
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I agree with you alot. Some people stress way to much about something that will work out. Kids are alot stronger then people give them credit for. The rigt or wrong way to raise children has ALOT of ground in between where kids will turn out just fine and life with them is by far better then life without them. If you can aford to feed them , buy them clothes and health insurance then your off to a great start. As far as xbox , TV or things like that go moderation is the key and it's all good as long as thats not the center of life. Recently had to limit cell phones with the kids as they love those things way to much. At first you'd have thought I cut them off from water but after couple weeks thier fine with limited use. Overthinking things is a good way to miss out on happiness.
31 is young?
Well we had our first(son) when I was 25. Oddly enough my Dad was 25 when he had me too lol
2011Corvette
Well-Known Member
Going home, from work, to my 3 kids every day is like waking up on Christmas morning as a kid.
It's the best part of my day!!!
And if you wait until you can afford them you will never have kids!
It's the best part of my day!!!
And if you wait until you can afford them you will never have kids!
Grandkids would do just fine too, but I still want to have little ones around while the big ones are growing up.
I too have seen the people who neglect their kids, but the ones they're really screwing are themselves. I suppose it's all about getting your head in the right place for parenthood. Maybe it's so much fun for me, because I waited until 1) I was out of school, 2) in a good, secure career, 3) married, and 4) in love with my wife.
I too have seen the people who neglect their kids, but the ones they're really screwing are themselves. I suppose it's all about getting your head in the right place for parenthood. Maybe it's so much fun for me, because I waited until 1) I was out of school, 2) in a good, secure career, 3) married, and 4) in love with my wife.
2011Corvette
Well-Known Member
Maybe it's so much fun for me, because I waited until
1) I was out of school,
2) in a good, secure career,
3) married, and
4) in love with my wife.[/QUOTE]
AMEN!!! That probably has a lot to do with things.
1) I was out of school,
2) in a good, secure career,
3) married, and
4) in love with my wife.[/QUOTE]
AMEN!!! That probably has a lot to do with things.
While not entirely true, I've seen people say that right up to the point where they couldn't have any b/c of age
Most notably it's usually the woman. The plumbing usually works just fine from 15 to 35 but after that maybe not. I've got plenty friends who would vouch for that. Especially those on BC for decades before trying to have a child. Just doesn't always work as expected.
Like the Duggarts oddly enough
I couldn't imagine having Uncles younger than myself 
LOL! My grandkids are ages 18, 9 and 3, two boys, one girl (the little one), and I see one or more of them most days.. I'm enjoying all three, even the tea parties with Emily.
I know people who say they don't want kids -- and they really don't, then they should not have them.
Sin-ster
GM of 4 Letter Outbursts
At least not now. I ain't shacking up with someone who doesn't blow my mind in the first place-- that's step one.
The GM card must come first as well...
Scott.Thornton
Well-Known Member
Wow this went on a lot farther than I thought it would, but I'm appreciative of the good words. I reckon just wrapping my head around everything all at once has me a bit spooked. But I know my wife and myself will make it as always. It's just what we seem to do. Thanks to everyone that had a say on this one.
I've spent the last couple of days pondering what to write in this thread, but sinster has nailed it for me. I'll be 29 in November and I know I'm not prepared to properly put a family unit together and get it right. I dream of having kids, but at the same time the thought scares the hell out of me.
To those of you who say the public school system isn't already a useless and corrupt institution, I would like to know what magical bastion of quality education you attended. 1/4 of my graduating class couldn't spell, add, or subtract, and I'm probably low-balling there.
I just can't see how the government system we have now will ever allow itself to be made smaller and less intrusive. There is too much money being made and passed around the inner circle. I wish the upcoming election had the potential to help assuage some of my fears, but both the candidates we have will equally damage what is left of this country, just in different ways.
Get up and go the work everyday, they'll learn that people who work always survive. Be financially responsilbe, kids learn how to spend and save their money from their parents. If you throw your money away on a bunch of junk they'll learn to do that. If you live below you means and put money intoo savings, they'll learn to save their money. Take them to church on Sundays and teach them that this world means nothing and the the next world means everything.
