LOCO Academy Seeking Instructors

[dawg23]

Louisiana Open-Carry Operators (LOCO) Academy is seeking qualified instructors to teach open carry courses.

We will be conducting elementary, intermediate and advanced level classes, so instructors with varying degrees of experience are welcome to apply.

All instructors must be able to demonstrate basic open-carry skills "on demand," without relying on a warm-up session. These skills will include (but are not necessarily limited to):

* The open-carry "strut 'n swagger"
* The ability to simultantaneously blade at a 45-degree angle and shout "You will not touch my weapon."

Intermediate and advanced instructors are expected to wear appropriate open-carry attire. Camo and gun logos are de rigeur -- flashy/tacky originality is encouraged.

Personal grooming is an evaluation factor. A two or three day growth of facial hair is preferable to a neatly trimmed beard or goatee. Hitler-style mustaches and tattoos are appropriate for any open carry class.

The most important evaluation factor will be your verifiable personal open-carry experience. Open-carry episodes on your own property will be deemed of less significance than trips to Wal-Mart or Cabela's. Affidavits from acquaintances will be accepted, but will carry less weight than security videos from retail establishments and official arrest records from local law enforcement agencies.

Resumes' will be accepted through July 31, 2009. All decisions of the Personnel Evaluation Committee will be final. LOCO Academy does not discriminate on the basis of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation (gays, lesbians and transsexuals are welcome) or mental infirmities.

Contact us at www.LocoAcademy.com

Our motto: "We're loco - please join us."

 

[homeslice]

Easily the best approach I've seen to this issue....

 

[RStewart]

 

[Nolacopusmc]

Sir,

In response to your recent post about seeking qualified LOCO instructors, I have a few questions regarding the qualifications and benefits:

1.While I may not have the strut down, if i have any experience making little girls cry or shouting at the top of my lungs, "Obviously you are a fascist that cannot recite Article 1 section 11 of the Louisiana Constitution and should be shot." would that suffice?

2.Also, is your own motorcycle required or will that be supplied at taxpayer expense?

3. Do I get affirmative action points if I have been placed on a physician's psychiatric hold?

4. Are cross-draw holsters required? I only ask because after exhaustive OC (OC is what those of us in the field call Open Carry) experience and research, I find the leg drop carry to me the best way for me to get attention for the sole purpose of educationing the ignorant Sheeple.

5. In the performance of my duties as a LOCO instructor, if i were to be unjustly and criminally questioned by the JBT's, asked several times to leave or secure my weapon, and refused in accordance with my god given rights, would all legal expenses be covered by LOCO?

6. you mentioned "verifiable" experience. I spent 23 years as a special operations operative with a g-24 classification above that of the POTUS. Obviously i cannot divulge all of my life-saving and taking escapades, but i did post some cryptic messages on some web forums. Also, there is some microfiche with details of my operations located in the hollowed out peg-leg of a pew in a small church in Tennessee. other than that, I can provided the name and phone number of a previous supervisor when i used to run the tactical team at Lakeside mall. He knows what i am capable of.

7. Lastly, if hired, could i be referred to in speech and writing by my initials only?

Thanks

David Ingnato Calhoun

(DIC)

 

[RStewart]

This has the makings of an epic.

 

[dawg23]

Sir,

In response to your recent post about seeking qualified LOCO instructors, I have a few questions regarding the qualifications and benefits:

1.While I may not have the strut down, if i have any experience making little girls cry or shouting at the top of my lungs, "Obviously you are a fascist that cannot recite Article 1 section 11 of the Louisiana Constitution and should be shot." would that suffice?

2.Also, is your own motorcycle required or will that be supplied at taxpayer expense?

3. Do I get affirmative action points if I have been placed on a physician's psychiatric hold?

4. Are cross-draw holsters required? I only ask because after exhaustive OC (OC is what those of us in the field call Open Carry) experience and research, I find the leg drop carry to me the best way for me to get attention for the sole purpose of educationing the ignorant Sheeple.

5. In the performance of my duties as a LOCO instructor, if i were to be unjustly and criminally questioned by the JBT's, asked several times to leave or secure my weapon, and refused in accordance with my god given rights, would all legal expenses be covered by LOCO?

6. you mentioned "verifiable" experience. I spent 23 years as a special operations operative with a g-24 classification above that of the POTUS. Obviously i cannot divulge all of my life-saving and taking escapades, but i did post some cryptic messages on some web forums. Also, there is some microfiche with details of my operations located in the hollowed out peg-leg of a pew in a small church in Tennessee. other than that, I can provided the name and phone number of a previous supervisor when i used to run the tactical team at Lakeside mall. He knows what i am capable of.

7. Lastly, if hired, could i be referred to in speech and writing by my initials only?

Thanks

David Ingnato Calhoun

(DIC)

Dear DIC:

You have raised some excellent questions. However, I am sure you can understand that we prefer to address these types of issues in a formal interview process rather than on an open forum.

Your question #3 is of particular interest, and should be addressed in detail on your application for employment ............... especially if the psychiatric hold was, in any way, associated with a sex change operation.

I also note that you have inquired about holsters without first raising the issue of authorized open-carry weapons. I view this as indicative of your open-carry aptitude, and as a specific indicator of your potential suitability to serve as a senior instructor. Getting the cart before the horse is an important skill for any open-carry aficionado.

You may have noticed that I continue to use the term "open-carry" rather than "OC." This is avoid confusion with Oleoresin Capsicum, a Latin phrase meaning "Give me some water, bitch. This sh*t is melting my eyeballs."

We appreciate your interest, and we look forward to receiving your CV.

 

[homeslice]

I've got a new sig:
"You may have noticed that I continue to use the term "open-carry" rather than "OC." This is avoid confusion with Oleoresin Capsicum, a Latin term meaning "Give me some water, bitch. This sh*t is melting my eyeballs."

 

[BRLAShooter]

Hehehe IOP1

 

[BRLAShooter]

Oh! I've only been carrying for less than 6 months and I have a $10 holster from a gun show that I like to strap on my belt, Can I be a Beginning Instructor?

 

[Bayoupiper]

Dear Sir,

I would like to apply for the position of Senior Instructor.
I meet all the above listed qualifications PLUS I open-carry my Taurus Model 100SSPRL-11 in a Galco 30th Anniversary "Jackass Rig" shoulder holster!

Thank you for your consideration.



.

 

[nikolai]

You may have noticed that I continue to use the term "open-carry" rather than "OC." This is avoid confusion with Oleoresin Capsicum, a Latin term meaning "Give me some water, bitch. This sh*t is melting my eyeballs."

OMGROFL

 

[blanepara9]

Man,you guys are awsome!!! I havent laughed this hard in a while...thanks!!!!!

 

[dawg23]

Oh! I've only been carrying for less than 6 months and I have a $10 holster from a gun show that I like to strap on my belt, Can I be a Beginning Instructor?

Dear Shooter:

You fail to note the placement of said holster (OWB or IWB), nor have you indicated the presence (or lack of) a cover garment.

I'm sure you can understand our adherence to standards. You sound like one of those CCW trolls to me.

 

[dawg23]

Dear Sir,

I would like to apply for the position of Senior Instructor.
I meet all the above listed qualifications PLUS I open-carry my Taurus Model 100SSPRL-11 in a Galco 30th Anniversary "Jackass Rig" shoulder holster!

Thank you for your consideration.

Dear Piper:

Please submit your application ASAP. Your choice of the "Jackass" rig is impressive (on several levels).

 

[nickatnite]

I thought, at first, you all were talking about the cast of the OC going down to Mexico and watching a Donkey Show or something.....

 

[Bayoupiper]

.....You watch ONE donkey show.............................



.

 

[LACamper]

^^^This brings up an interesting point. As an OC expert how do you feel about going 'Mexican'? I usually carry my 1911 cocked and locked in the front center of my waistband but occasionally when I bend over the safety comes off. Should I use rubber bands to keep the hammer back?

Do you offer a seperate course for long guns? I'm trying to decide before my next trip to the mall if I should sling my AK barrel up or down? Or should I switch to a single point sling and put it under a trench coat? I've heard these are very stylish in New Orleans summers among the OC crowd...

 

[Dave328]

To whom it may concern,
I would like to submit my name for consideration as a LOCO instructor. My main question is do we get some sweetass badges to carry? I openly carry my camo painted Lorcin strung up with camo 550 cord tied around my neck, single point-style. A sweetass badge would really look cool clipped to the 550 cord. Could I get the badge in camo?
Thank you,

Steve Hebert Lawson Of North Gretna (S.H.L.O.N.G.)

 

[Summit_Ace]

dawg23,
I know very well I could be taking your post wrong,however it does leave me with the impression that you do not approve of those who open carry. If I am wrong in my assumption I apologize. although if I am correct I would be interested in your reasoning.

 

[artabr]

Pass the popcorn.


Art