Never beat a woman

[Booseman]

The iTough is strong in this one....

You made me spit out my water!!!

I hope you're joking

No worries.

Yeah... those army rangers are full of iRage.

I guess VG and I are in the same boat then, oh well, at least I have good company!!!! (not trying to say what VG would do)

 

[Leadfoot]

See, Boozeman, I used to think just like you.. seriously.

But years of seeing this happen have taught me one thing, the best thing -> I <- can do about it, is not get involved.

I'm not condoning violence against women, but time after time after time after time after time after time I have seen it play out the exact same way.

He kicks the **** out of her today... They're deeply in love tomorrow. Now some people say "well the woman feels trapped, she has nowhere to go." This is absolute 100% ********.

If someone is kicking the **** out of you on a regular basis and you stay with them, IMO you deserve what you got. You KNEW how this person was and it didn't matter.

I PERSONALLY have naively, in my younger years tried to step in and "help" girls/women who I have found in this situation and you know who the fool was? Me.

If you witness someone beating up someone else, no matter if its man vs. man, man vs. woman, whatever, and you need to do something, call the police, thats what they get paid to do.

I've been in and out of law enforcement for 22 years, I've seen more of this **** happen than the average person sees in 5 lifetimes. It's always the same outcome.

 

[jguilletjr]

Call 911, keep them on the line, confront the guy and let the situation develop. Shoot only as a "last resort" but stop the threat. The woman is there because she chooses to be, the child has no say. I couldn't just watch it all go down.

After it all cools down, she will probably go back to him.

 

[Bosco]

For many of us, I think we'd rather risk a lawsuit than watch a woman have her head stomped in by her drug-addict boyfriend.

Let me give you a little anecdote because chances are you've never actually been around a woman in an abusive relationship. My cousin was a victim of her boyfriend's abuse for about 5 years. We tried to get her out of the relationship, we tried to get her to press charges against him, we tried whooping his ass several times. What ended up happening is she told all of us to go eff ourselves and cut us all out of her life because "We just don't understand his love". We didn't see or hear from her for about 2 years. Of course after he was done with her and found a new woman to beat she's back in our lives but she looks at him as "the one who got away".

Go ahead and get involved in a stranger's domestic dispute. Put yourself in physical harms way for someone who probably doesn't want to be saved. Play vigilante superhero and put "two in the chest and one in the phukin dome!!!!" I just hope you have a damn good lawyer because even though you were trying to help she will have $$$ in her eyes and grief in her heart for you killing the father of her child.

 

[Booseman]

See, Boozeman, I used to think just like you.. seriously.

But years of seeing this happen have taught me one thing, the best thing -> I <- can do about it, is not get involved.

I'm not condoning violence against women, but time after time after time after time after time after time I have seen it play out the exact same way.

He kicks the **** out of her today... They're deeply in love tomorrow. Now some people say "well the woman feels trapped, she has nowhere to go." This is absolute 100% ********.

If someone is kicking the **** out of you on a regular basis and you stay with them, IMO you deserve what you got. You KNEW how this person was and it didn't matter.

I PERSONALLY have naively, in my younger years tried to step in and "help" girls/women who I have found in this situation and you know who the fool was? Me.

I completely understand where you are coming from and to an extent I agree, for most situations.

However, there are cases where the woman is dependent on that man because of the mental abuse and even possible drug addiction herself that she cant leave. Who is going to be the advocate for the BOY??? He is just a child and having to witness this, that is a horrible thing for a young man to see.

The reason I am so adamant about this is because of what I experienced as young man myself.

Really long story made as short as possible.

My mother was addicted to crack, weed, coke and alcohol. She stayed with the man that beat her and myself and was also very mentally abusing as well. The reason, she had no choice, no where to go, no family with in 4,000 miles!!!! What was she to do???? It was him that got her addicted to the drugs and made her depend on him, otherwise we starved and were homeless. Once I was finally big enough, about 15 or so he didnt mess with me anymore. When I turned 17 I forced my mom to sign the waiver to join the military. Twelve days later I was on a plane to basic training.

That is why I say sometimes people need help from the outside, from a total stranger that has the heart to stand up and say that is enough!!! The more and more we let people get away with that kind of crap the more it just escalates, next maybe the boy dies or even both, then what???

 

[JWG223]

Cause you think every woman who gets her ass kicked is looking for Superman to come save her?

Nope.

She'll be squaling about what a piece of **** he is today and welcome him back home with open arms (and legs) tomorrow.

Best thing OP can do is stay as far away from those people as possible.

Exactly!

Any cop who has any experience in domestic disputes will tell you the same thing, the woman will actually hate you for "saving" her, when it's all said and done, and will side with the abuser.

 

[Sugarbug]

Let me give you a little anecdote because chances are you've never actually been around a woman in an abusive relationship. My cousin was a victim of her boyfriend's abuse for about 5 years. We tried to get her out of the relationship, we tried to get her to press charges against him, we tried whooping his ass several times. What ended up happening is she told all of us to go eff ourselves and cut us all out of her life because "We just don't understand his love". We didn't see or hear from her for about 2 years. Of course after he was done with her and found a new woman to beat she's back in our lives but she looks at him as "the one who got away".

Go ahead and get involved in a stranger's domestic dispute. Put yourself in physical harms way for someone who probably doesn't want to be saved. Play vigilante superhero and put "two in the chest and one in the phukin dome!!!!" I just hope you have a damn good lawyer because even though you were trying to help she will have $$$ in her eyes and grief in her heart for you killing the father of her child.

I hear ya. But we're not talking about a little smacking around. From the description, it sounded like this very well could have ended the woman's life. In LA you have the right to defend others from imminent harm just as you can defend yourself. As long as a court deems that there was no crime committed by stopping/killing the guy, she can whine about it all she wants, but you're clear from civil litigation.

I understand both points of view... I just don't think I could stand by and watch. Calling the police is always an option, but there's no chance of them getting there fast enough if she's already on the ground taking kicks.

 

[Leadfoot]

The more and more we let people get away with that kind of crap the more it just escalates, next maybe the boy dies or even both, then what???

I understand where you're coming from man, seriously. There's no easy answer. But the reality is this: Women have options. There are community resources for battered women. There are shelters, there's free counselling, free legal help.

But things will not stop until 1 of 2 things happens, someone either dies/goes to jail OR the WOMAN finally says I've had enough. And when she finally says that, is when the abuse will stop.

 

[Knave]

Growing up, I was taught in school by Battered Women groups that only a coward ever lays a finger on a woman, that domestic violence is ALWAYS a man's fault, and so on.


Now that I'm at least a year or two older and have seen slightly more of the world, I have decided that the issue is far more complicated than that, and that domestic violence VERY RARELY follows the Lifetime movie paradigm of a drunk, violent father mercilessly beating his meek and tender wife and children because he has so much frustration about not getting his promotion.

In fact, if I were to pull a number out of my rear, I'd say about 1 in 10 or fewer men involved in "domestic violence" are truly some kind of sadistic, psychotic buttholes. The rest of them are general population folks.


I no longer believe that a "real" man would never hit a woman. If a man tells me he would never hit a woman, I say he just hasn't met the right woman yet.

Conversely, you can replace "he" and "man" for "she" and "woman." Both parties play their roles the vast majority of the time, but the paradigm has been perverted to always blame the men and remove a woman's accountability.

Just my opinion

 

[Gator 45/70]

Why isn't this beating on You-Tube ?

 

[JWG223]

I hear ya. But we're not talking about a little smacking around. From the description, it sounded like this very well could have ended the woman's life. In LA you have the right to defend others from imminent harm just as you can defend yourself. As long as a court deems that there was no crime committed by stopping/killing the guy, she can whine about it all she wants, but you're clear from civil litigation.

I understand both points of view... I just don't think I could stand by and watch. Calling the police is always an option, but there's no chance of them getting there fast enough if she's already on the ground taking kicks.

I promise this isn't the first time she's been on the ground taking kicks, and it won't be the last. Abused women are addicts themselves, they just keep coming back for more. It's a mental disease. Is OP going to follower her around and take out her abusive boyfriends one after the other? That's what it would take to keep her free from being pummeled again, because they always find another pair of fists to make their lives complete. Move on and do something worthwhile with your time/money/emotions than fighting manslaughter charges substantiated by a dead coke-addicts X who's already getting slapped into line by her next "man".

Bottom line? She's just as much as fault as him, and they both just can't wait to do it again next week. I used to live near a girl who found guys similar to that, and it was one after the other. She would always come downstairs crying and I would tell her nice things and give her something to drink and let her just sob it out so I could go on with my evening and she could go back to whichever druggie she was sucking off for pot that week.

No pity for it, really, I'm sorry to say, having seen it going on year after year where I live. These women don't want your help, and you shouldn't offer it.


This is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from a random victim. This is a willing participant. You don't charge into a boxing ring to help the two contenders "talk it out".

 

[Armnhammer]

Where do you draw the line? By the time the cops arrive he could've killed them both. I couldnt watch it go down and not intervene. Maybe not shoot him but definitely I'd get involved. If not for her then for the 15 year old who's getting beat by a grown man.

 

[Sugarbug]

I promise this isn't the first time she's been on the ground taking kicks, and it won't be the last. Abused women are addicts themselves, they just keep coming back for more. It's a mental disease. Is OP going to follower her around and take out her abusive boyfriends one after the other? That's what it would take to keep her free from being pummeled again, because they always find another pair of fists to make their lives complete. Move on and do something worthwhile with your time/money/emotions than fighting manslaughter charges substantiated by a dead coke-addicts X who's already getting slapped into line by her next "man".

Bottom line? She's just as much as fault as him, and they both just can't wait to do it again next week.

It'd be her business whether or not she continues to live that lifestyle. I'm just saying I couldn't be standing 50 feet away while that happened to someone.

 

[JWG223]

Where do you draw the line? By the time the cops arrive he could've killed them both. I couldnt watch it go down and not intervene. Maybe not shoot him but definitely I'd get involved. If not for her then for the 15 year old who's getting beat by a grown man.

I would draw the line where the kid got involved. His dumb mother dragged him into it, and he is NOT a willing participant. However, did you notice how OP makes it sound like the kid only got hit because he hit first? Maybe I misread, but it seems like the kid just "got in the way" of the normal festivities. I feel bad for that kid

 

[JWG223]

It'd be her business whether or not she continues to live that lifestyle. I'm just saying I couldn't be standing 50 feet away while that happened to someone.

Me either, I don't want to waste my time in court of someone sees me and tells the police about it and I get a subpoena as a witness. Just call the cops, go back inside, and do whatever it is you were doing.

 

[Booseman]

Me either, I don't want to waste my time in court of someone sees me and tells the police about it and I get a subpoena as a witness. Just call the cops, go back inside, and do whatever it is you were doing.

WOW!!!

I just lost all respect for you as a man.

 

[JWG223]

WOW!!!

I just lost all respect for you as a man.

Cool story, but that's not my problem, either. You have something to prove, go prove it. Plenty of beat-down women in the area for you to make a name for yourself. I'm not willing to ruin my life to "save" someone from something they choose to be a part of.

Or you can just tell us all...what would YOU have done?

 

[Sugarbug]

Me either, I don't want to waste my time in court of someone sees me and tells the police about it and I get a subpoena as a witness. Just call the cops, go back inside, and do whatever it is you were doing.

If that was your daughter would you want someone watching to just go about their business?

 

[JWG223]

If that was your daughter would you want someone watching to just go about their business?

I don't have or want children, so that's impossible for me to answer from the position you want me to answer it from.


That said...

If it were my daughter, I would recognize the fact that the problem wasn't "that guy" or even the last few, or the next few, but HER, and that while some gallant tough-guy with a hero complex might save her a busted face this time, she would just find herself getting smashed up soon enough by another guy. I would try to get the woman to agree to go to therapy and attempt to change HER. If that couldn't be achieved, well, we all have to live our own lives, and she chose hers.

The closest I can come to relating is with my mother and my stepfather. He talks to her like a dog and ran her credit through the roof and didn't have insurance on her or take care of her medically and she does the manual labor (mows the lawn), etc. Even had a little stroke a few years back because of uncontrolled blood pressure and mowing the lawn out in the south Texas heat while he sat inside. You know what, though? My mother's a grown adult and this is her choice. I love her, but she is not mentally incapable of making her own decisions as an adult. She made decisions and continues to make them and I respect them.

I don't recall the woman calling out to OP, mere feet away, to do a damn thing. Not even call the cops.

All this being said...I wouldn't let my daughter starve to death in Africa, but I'm not going to fly to African and adopt a kid who is, because of that, yeah? What about you?

Who's all for African kid adoption!? Anyone? LETS GO! Not.

"What if" is a long sentence, but that wasn't OP's sister, mother, daughter, or even half cousin, so it just doesn't apply.

 

[Bosco]

You are part of the problem then. There is a great quote that I am about to murder but it fits, "all it takes for evil to succeed is for good me to do nothing" cant remember who it is by and I am to busy to look it up.

I'm part of the problem because I value my life and the lives of my family more than some woman who has such a warped view on herself that she stays with someone who regularly beats her and will take you to court if you try and protect her? I think you're living in the wrong century.

I'm not about to put anyone I love at risk for a stranger. I'm sorry but I don't have my CCW to play "hero" or fake policeman. It's a last resort to defend my life and the lives of my loved ones. Using your CCW to get in the middle of a domestic dispute will give you a headline on bayoushooter of "Play stupid games win stupid prizes". Can't remember who it is by but I'm sure you have enough time to play internet Rambo to look it up.